You might remember (you probably don’t) my “Best Names” posts for the coolest name for each team in the NFL. In the AFC edition, my choice for the Oakland Raiders was sixth-round draft pick Stryker Sulak. Here’s the blurb I wrote for him:
His first name ranks very high in the “Fucking Badass” category. Last name is unintelligible, which is good. Adds more mystique and makes the full name more epic. The dude sounds like a Transformer, and Jay Bilas said he had a “good motor.” Oh ho! Fuck you, that was funny.
Apparently, the Raiders didn’t like his style, or maybe they thought he had a stupid name (they’re wrong), but Sulak was cut from the team.
This is a travesty. I call upon any logical team to sign this guy due to his radness factor. Everyone knows that a radness factor is crucial for a team’s success. You’re not going to win any Super Bowls with names like John Johnson. You win Super Bowls with names like Trent Dilfer. He’ll probably be in the playoffs in a couple years when Al Michaels spouts off some dumb origin about his name. I’ll put money on it.
