Welcome to this week of FOOTBALLDAY. Hopefully baseball’s over by the time you read this.
I’m writing this part right after the Saints-Falcons game on Monday Night Football, and it’s the reason why this week’s post is called “The Frustration.” I know that the golden rule of fantasy football is “No one else cares about your fantasy football team but you,” so I’ll keep it short and simple. I lost by a point in one of my leagues this week. A fucking point. Not only that, but the person didn’t even start the player who beat me (Devery fucking Henderson) until an hour or two before the game. This is why I want rosters closed Sunday at 1:00. Fuck. I hate you Devery Henderson. You’re on my shit list. In general, fuck the Saints too.
Because of this, your music this week is something angry and loud.
Your fun thing for this week is a Sporcle quiz of NFL players with the most receptions. I got 17 pretty easily, and should have had a couple more. I’ll give you a hint about the Bengals one: it’s a bitch to spell.
Past Week Predictions
Week 1: 12-4
Week 2: 9-7
Week 3: 13-3
Week 4: 11-3
Week 5: 10-4
Week 6: 10-4
Week 7: 9-4
Week 8: 8-5
Oof, what a terrible week last week for predictions. I blame it on the Halloween rush. Stupid hungover me forgot to check my fantasy starters before the games. I would have found out that Donald Brown wasn’t starting and replaced him with Jerricho Cotchery in the flex spot. That cost me a win by four points in another fantasy league. In two leagues, I lost by a combined 5 points. I need to stop talking about it. I’m seeing red.
Here are my picks, games in EST.
Washington Redskins at Atlanta Falcons, 1:00 PM
Redskins are terrible, Falcons will get back on track at home.
Atlanta over Washington
Arizona Cardinals at Chicago Bears, 1:00 PM
Both teams have great quarterbacks that do make terrible decisions when throwing. The Cardinals have better receivers, and I would say here that the Bears have better running backs, but honestly, I can’t say that anymore. Matt Forte hasn’t been dominant in any game he’s played in, even against Cleveland. Hopefully next year Forte drops down to a round that actually reflects his value, like 5 or 6.
Arizona over Chicago
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals, 1:00 PM
I say the Bengals get the sweep. It would be unbelievable.
Cincinnati over Baltimore
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts, 1:00 PM
I see a shoot-out, but the Colts are outstanding this year, and the Texans can’t make up their fucking mind at running back. When does a first-round fantasy pick get benched? Unbelievable.
Indianapolis over Houston
Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots, 1:00 PM
My bias and common knowledge says that the Patriots win, especially if it’s cold.
New England over Miami
Green Bay Packers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1:00 PM
Battle of the Bays! Maybe this game Aaron Rodgers can get sacked only 2 times instead of 6? Thanks. Seriously, the Packers better draft an offensive lineman or pick one up from free agency if they want to keep their new franchise quarterback intact.
Green Bay over Tampa Bay
Kansas City Chiefs at Jacksonville Jaguars, 1:00 PM
I’m going for the upset.
Kansas City over Jacksonville
Detroit Lions at Seattle Seahawks, 4:05 PM
Can the Lions win two games? If Matthew Stafford plays, I think so.
Detroit over Seattle
Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints, 4:05 PM
Don’t make me laugh.
New Orleans over Carolina
San Diego Chargers at New York Giants, 4:15 PM
Boy, it’s delicious to see the Giants slumping so poorly. I really hope this goes on, but it won’t. Or will me saying that jinx it and keep them slumping? That would be worth getting this pick wrong.
New York over San Diego
Tennessee Titans at San Francisco 49ers, 4:15 PM
Vince Young against a real secondary is going to be hilarious.
San Francisco over Tennessee
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles, 8:20 PM
I’m pretty sure Brian Westbrook is playing this game, but even if he isn’t I think the Eagles will win.
Philadelphia over Dallas
Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos, 8:30 PM
The Broncos’ new goal is 15-1.
Denver over Pittsburgh