So, some crap in the NFL has gone down since the last time I wrote. I could either recycle some opinions/jokes about these topics (especially that JaMarcus Russell thing, since that fat guy’s basically SSF’s bread-and-butter (mmm, bread and butter)), or just find something else to write about. Hey, no one’s really writing a bunch on Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos right now!
Mark Kiszla of the Denver Post feels bad for Kyle Orton in this whole Tebow-drafting situation, in an article titled “Orton should run away from the circus.” Wait a minute… Orton sounds like Horton, who’s an elephant… and Dumbo is also an elephant and he was in the circus! I think I completely over-analyzed Kiszla’s clever headline, but let’s delve in.
Can we all agree $2 million is serious money? Some jobs, however, are not worth doing at any cost.
False. I would probably eat shit for $2 million. Sorry, but who wouldn’t?
Kyle Orton would have rocks for brains to start another game as quarterback of the Broncos. He would be playing the fool for Denver coach Josh McDaniels.
The fool with $2 million.
If Orton owns a penny’s worth of common sense, he has already quietly, politely and firmly asked for a trade to grant his freedom. Let him go to the Buffalo Bills. The Edmonton Eskimos. Anywhere but here.
Denver, Buffalo, or Edmonton? That’s like asking me to pick a “Kill, Fuck, Marry” with Bea Arthur, Betty White, and the one that plays Blanche.
Why should Orton stick around and be a clown in the Tim Tebow circus?
Because it pays $2 million and right now it’s Orton’s job to lose? And if Tebow implodes, Orton will be there to have zero expectations placed on him?
In the NFL, a lame-duck quarterback is a messy ending waiting to happen.
“Did someone say duck? I’ll take two, honey glazed please.” -JaMarcus Russell
It won’t work. It can’t work. Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have more of a future together than Orton and McDaniels.
Sweet stale pop culture reference, bro. Then again, I did reference the Golden Girls earlier, but it worked much better.
Unless deaf, dumb and blind, Orton must be aware of his impending status as sacrificial scapegoat.
This picture probably doesn’t help.
At best, McDaniels deludes himself if he thinks Orton has the stuff to hold off challenges from Brady Quinn and Tebow.
Yeah, Quinn, who was in a quarterback carousel with Derek Anderson and Ken Dorsey in Cleveland, and Tebow, who hasn’t even had a snap in the NFL yet, are really tough challenges.
And the 75,000 Broncomaniacs itching to boo Orton the next time he throws an interception just want to get on with the rest of this team’s life.
I have nothing really clever to say about this besides the fact that Kiszla could have come up with something more inspiring than “Broncomaniacs.”
So let’s stop the charade before everybody must pretend to go through the motions.
With Tebow, the motions aren’t very fluid, and look awkward. You didn’t think I’d go this whole post without sniping Tebow for his mechanics, did you?
Stuck between impending NFL labor strife and a hard place, Orton recently signed a $2.6 million, one-year deal from the Broncos with barely a complaint.
Now, Orton can only hope it is his ticket out of town.
No, because it’s better to have money than to not have money.
Think what you will of Orton. Sure, calling the 27-year-old quarterback a game manager might be code for not Super Bowl material. But if you want somebody to trash him, I’m not your guy.
Mike Gundy lauds your unnecessarily aggressive support of a quarterback. And no, I’m not linking the video where he yells. Go look it up on Youtube if you want to watch it for the fiftieth time.
Please take into consideration Orton’s relatively modest salary, his winning percentage as an NFL starter and the solid character he demonstrates in victory or defeat. Add it up. What Orton brings to the table should be reasonably attractive on the trade market.
Alright, I’m going to stop at this point in the article, because I didn’t really gain any knowledge besides finding out that the mayor of Denver is named John Hickenlooper, which I thought was a joke until I looked it up. That last name is as awkward as Tebow’s throwing motion. (That’s the second joke about Tebow’s mechanics, if you were trying to keep count.)
This is what I don’t understand. Kyle Orton was offered $2.6 million for a year more in Denver. He has the starting quarterback job in Denver right now, and like I said earlier, it’s basically his job to lose. Why would Josh McDaniels ship a quarterback who can play well out of town and replace him with someone who hasn’t played in the NFL at all and needs to develop (Tebow) or someone who has played a couple years in the NFL and still isn’t fully ready to take over a team (Quinn)? Would you rather go 9-7 or 10-6 with something that worked or gamble and have the odds saying that you fail spectacularly with a more recognizable name? The fumes of Mark Sanchez leading the Jets to the AFC championship game apparently have everyone in a daze thinking that any quarterback drafted in the first ten picks can flip a team around, which is unrealistic and stupid.
I’m not saying Tebow will be terrible or really good, but has anyone even really asked Orton about this whole situation? I can’t find quotes from him in any article about him versus Tebow.. only speculation from various analysts. If anyone does know an article with Orton’s opinion about this, please tell me so I won’t be a fool.